new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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