Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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