Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
