i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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