escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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