hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
