soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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