Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
