you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
