Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
