He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
