if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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