I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
