Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think a kid would responsible me up
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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