I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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