talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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