I'm jealous of your bromance
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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