I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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