it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
