Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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