These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
