Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
