I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
