If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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