I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
