Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
