Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
