so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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