is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
