will power is for people who don't want to get laid
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
