32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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