i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
