Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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