so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
