Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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