why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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