For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
