I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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