He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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