Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
