Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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