Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
