I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
