i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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