can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
