Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
