eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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