i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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