sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I've blown a few things in my day
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
