Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
