plz talk dirty to me
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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