Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
